CNN.com or The Onion? Redux

Headlines from CNN.com or The Onion?

Answers below.

November 12, 2006:

1. Rare stamp may be sealed in Florida ballot box
2. Woman shot six times in head lives
3. Deer breaks free of plastic jack-o'-lantern
4. Soldiers' Ramadi rap video an instant success
5. Germans prepare Rumsfeld lawsuit
6. Gol-LY! Andy Griffith sues Andy Griffith

November 13, 2006:

1. Cop punching man's head hits YouTube
2. Roadkill collector has weird animal encounter
3. Eat more chocolate, save the planet
4. Speeders' excuse: The dead guy did it
5. Matchmaking for Egypt's teen brides
6. Canada profs win right to smoke pot
7. Elton John: 'I would ban religion'

"The only thing I can suggest, and I love it the way it is, but I would like to see us return to a little more international coverage on the domestic feed and a little more environmental coverage, and maybe a little less pervert of the day.  I mean, there's a lot of perversion around, I know that, but is it really news?  I mean, some of it is.  I guess you've got to cover Michael Jackson, but not three stories about perversion at the lead of every half-hour."

Ted Turner, June 2, 2005
From Turner reflects on CNN at 25

[Answers:  These are all headines from CNN.com.]

We miss you, Mr. Turner.

Your obedient servant,
B. Freret.