Monday, November 13, 2006

If You are a Real Person, Please Stop Reading This

Okay.  I know that I should not say anything in my current state of mind, but I cannot risk wasting another minute, lest it happen again, so I’m just going to get right to the point.

It has come to my attention that a one of these entries has been read by a real person.  A real person that I do not even know.  I’m not going to name any names, but the friend who suggested I start this whole thing (who is a real person, and is decent enough to never actually read anything said here) even told me that Adventures has been added to something called the Boski Corp Network of Bad Ass Blogs of Doom, whatever that is.  (I’m too afraid to click and find out.)

So if you are a real person (and if you are, you probably know it) please stop reading this.  This sentence.  This paragraph.  I mean it, right now.  I said “please,” so STOP.  GO AWAY.  Do not come back. P.R. and I have never done anything to you, so please go.

Good Lord, look at you – still reading.  Have you no shame?  No dignity?  No self respect whatsoever?  Have you no cereal boxes about the house to read?  No TV Guide?  No mattress labels?  No McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern?

Fine, then.  You’ll get bored soon enough.  Until then, you assume the risk, and would do well to keep in mind Mr. Puzo’s statement that “[i]f I had known that anyone would read it, I would have written a better book.”  [Except this isn’t a book.  And you aren’t so much “anyone” as you are the only one reading this.  And the most obvious distinction: I’m much taller than Mario Puzo.]

Your obedient servant,
B. Freret 

1 comment:

Boski93 said...

Well, sir you have thrown down the gauntlet, so I have no other choice but to read this fine blog.

So take that!

Your Humble Reader,

P.S. Is that a line from Puzo's "Fool's Die"?