Sent to me by a neighbor, from a real auction:
Q: i am interested in your item. if it does not sell. lmk what is your best price is. i will pay by paypal. thanks Dec-9-06
A: Hello, and thank you for your interest in my auction. The best price is $450 (hence the starting bid) and it will sell at auction or I'll keep it myself. Thank you!
Q: I'd give you $425 Dec-9-06
A: Thank you! With just an additional $25.00, you can meet the minimum opening bid. Thank you for looking!
Q: I will gve you $400 now. Dec-10-06
A: THANK YOU! That is very nice of you, I could really use $400, and I don’t even know you. Oh wait, did you mean you want to give me $400 for the $500 item that I'm auctioning? Oh, rats. If that is what you meant, I’m afraid you'll just have to bid at least $450 for it, like everybody else. You may not win it at $450, you might get outbid. But $450 is the minimum opening bid. (I thought I put that somewhere in the auction listing, shame on me if I did not.) Let me know if you meant that you just want to give me $400 for no reason – I really could use it. Thanks!
Q: I'll pay $400 for it. Dec-10-06
A: Hello, and thank you for your interest in my auction. You might consider spending that $400 on a tutor: either your reading comprehension skills or your math skills (i.e., comprehending that $450>$400) need some professional attention. Maybe both.
Q: Will you take $375? Dec-10-06
A: Sure, so long as those 375 dollars bring at least 75 more along with them. Thank you!
Q: I wouldn’t pay more than $415. Dec-11-06
A: That is wonderful to know! I have yellow curtains in my kitchen. Yet neither statement has a goddamn thing to do with this auction.
Q: Offer you $425 to end the auction. Dec-11-06
A: Offer you the finger.
Q: Did you get my email? I will give you $400. Dec-11-06
A: Of course I did, that is how I was able to respond. Did you read my response? More significantly, did you understand the meaning of the words you read? Magic 8 Ball say, “Not likely.”
Q: How about $435? Dec-11-06
A: How about it?
Q: did you get my message? Will you take $435? Dec-11-06
A: Yes, I got your message.
Q: ??? How about $435? Dec-11-06
A: How about you f*** off?
Q: Did you get my emails? I want to give you $400. Dec-11-06
A: Yes, you ignorant twit, and I am still happy to take your $400. Unless you want this item in exchange.
On Dec-11-06 at 11:57:04 PST, seller added the following information:
You dumbasses get that this is an auction, right? You didn’t just find yourselves at www.ebay.com by accident, did you? Maybe you were using the google on the internets and don’t quite understand what happened just before you got to this exact page?
Do you imbeciles even know what auction means? BECAUSE I THINK YOU’RE ALL MISSING THE F***ING POINT OF LISTING AN AUCTION, YOU TIRE-KICKING LOWBALLING BACKDOORING IDIOTS. Good god, no wonder it was (re?)elected a second term.
While I don't approve of some of the language the seller used, I do admire her/his willingness to help potential bidders.
Your obedient servant,