Monday, March 19, 2007

Old Mr. Detweiler’s Unfortunate Draw at the Coffee Shop’s Random Interpretive Reading Night: Pop Culture

Mr. Detweiler took his place at the podium, cleared his throat, pulled a paper from the hat, unfolded it and began to read:

“What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps (Check it out).”



I had great difficulty paying attention to his lectures the remainder of that semester.

Your obedient servant,
B. Freret

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Thank you: I'm Back

I want to thank all of you who sent well-wishes during my long slow recovery. For those of you who don’t know, suffice it to say that I was injured in an unlikely (yet no less tragic) accident involving a rice harvesting combine while chaperoning a field trip.

I am happy to report that I’m getting around much better, and have recovered almost the full use of my tongue.

During my convalescence, my cousin the gifted illustrator and humorist sent me a number of his latest cartoons. I have neither a scanner nor digital camera, but I thought some were too good to pass up sharing with you: I wish you could see them!

Here are the captions from my favorites:

“Forgetting that her children were sitting right next to her, Jen began flashing her breasts to Greg at Wiggles Live.”


“Dude, they’re goldfish, not horses. Like, the chances of you breaking a leg or something is pretty much zero.”

and

“Rectum? It damn near killed him.”


I remain your humble and obedient servant,
B. Freret