Monday, November 26, 2007

"I was a happy sponge"


"I was a happy sponge, content to behave in the sea. Then a diver ripped me from my bliss. I was impaled on the end of a stick and for six horrid months a Roman solder named Tarasicodissa used me to clean his ass. Years after my escape I continued to wake up to my own screams. Until I returned to land just long enough to kill him.

What a glorious April that was!"


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I don't know what to make of this, so I'm posting it here for your consideration. I keep probing for the hidden profound meaning of this parable, but so far the moral has managed to elude me.

Beautiful work, regardless, simply beautiful. Thank you for forwarding it to me!

I remain your humble servant,
B. Freret

Recently Rejected Patriotic-Themed T-Shirt Slogans


This was passed to me recently by a nice enough fellow.  I hated to hear that his hard work had not panned out for him (obviously much time and effort went into these), and I don't see why at least some of these designs were not considered for purchase.

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Patriotic T-Shirt Slogans Recently Rejected for Submission to a Major Discount Retailer as Being “Inappropriate” for the Intended Audience of Lower to Middle Class 35 to 50 Year Old Women

All-American MILF

True Patriot: I Blew Our Founding Fathers

Proud to Service Our Men In the Service

100% American (by which I mean a mix of multiple European ancestors, with some African and Asian thrown in here and there - not native American. If I'd meant "native American" I'd have said "100% Indian," because that is what we call them, even though they aren't from India.)

Franklin Was Right: Older Chicks Make Better Lovers

Do you see fireworks too, or am I just having hot flashes?

Contents of This Shirt Made and Assembled in USA

Contents of This Shirt Assembled in USA from Foreign Parts

Just Because I Brazilian Wax Doesn't Make Me Any Less (North) American

Sure, the implants were made in China, but by-god the OUTSIDE of this rack was made in the U.S. of A.!!!

Proud of My Genetically Homogeneous Heritage

Just Another All American Girl Next Door Who F***s Like a Porn Star

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Respectfully Submitted,
B. Freret

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Average Joe: Not Ratchet, but Kickin' Nonetheless


Average Joe's first CD, some thirty years or so in the making, is finally available at CDBaby. Like the title says, it isn't ratchet, but it is kickin'. Buy one for yourself, and several more to give as holiday presents.

Avoid the Holiday Suck: spin this and Crankdaddy's Athems and you'll be just fine.

Your obedient servant,
B. Freret