Thursday, November 20, 2008

What a Wonderful World This Could Be

As we approach the holiday season, a message of nurturing love and delicate cooperation seems appropriate.

My wife and I were having drinks one evening with one of her coworkers and his single yet reasonably attractive 29 year old female cousin I’ll call Lingua*, when a homely fellow passed by our table. Lingua quipped, “with looks like that, he’d better be able to lick a mean p#ssy,” immediately dispelling any uncertainty surrounding her status as a single female.

I still tremble at the thought of what might constitute a “mean p#ssy.”**

I ask you, is there not enough conflict and strife in the world without our having to suffer angst-ridden vaginas? Are we not all God’s children, capable of living together in harmony?

I am reminded of something Mohandas Gandhi might have said, had he specifically addressed this issue:

When I despair,
I remember that all through history
the ways of truth and love have always won.
There have been tyrants, and murderers, and mean p#ssies,
and for a time they can seem invincible,
but in the end they always fall.

Think of it - always.

So in this time of hope and celebration, I implore not just Lingua but all the Linguas of the world to please please love your vaginas. Nurture them with tenderness and care, and allow us to do the same.

If we try to come together the world will be a better place. And have fewer mean vaginas.

Respectfully, I am
B. Freret

* Not her real name.

** She could have intended at least two different meanings, either “mean” as in vicious (i.e., acid spitting, teeth baring, etc.), or “mean” as in cruel (i.e., “is that all you’ve got?” or “nanny nanny boo boo”). Honestly, who would want to lick such a thing? Regardless, the stuff nightmares are made of.


Anonymous said...

After an exhausting and historic bout with angry anus last summer, I have to concur, please stay away from mean p#ssy. No good can come of it.

Boski93 said...

I don't think Robert Frost could have put it any better.