Thursday, February 12, 2009

Dr. Souder’s Paper Grading Comment Bank

My oldest is in his second semester of college, and was kind enough to forward these actual comments made on English papers last semester:

“Great improvement – at times almost understandable”

“Nearly magnificent: you just need some creativity and skill”

“It is ‘Suki,’ not ‘Sucky’”

“I agree that ‘Vagina Whisperer’ would be a great sequel to ‘Vagina Monologues,’ but don’t stray from your original theme”

“Once again – it is nuclear [noo-klee-er]”

"You can't handle the truth"

“Mr. Strunk and Mr. White would be appalled”

“I believe you meant ‘pissy’ not ‘pithy,’ but I underthand the mithtake”

“Try using ‘scrotum’ in place of ‘nutsack’”

“Conceivable that this is the work of a bipedal hominid”

“Let me say this in a way that you will understand: your failing”

“I know that you are from Ohio, but have you ever considered taking an ESL course?”

“He was born in Orel, Russia, not Oral”

“For the last time, Ms. Hilton, your films are not literature”

“While the ‘DaVinci’ font may be a legitimate stylistic choice, I am unwilling to use a mirror to grade your paper”

“Better, but next time try not to be such an imbecile”

“Is this the product of small animals scampering across a computer keyboard?”

Respectfully, I remain
B. Freret

1 comment:

Boski93 said...

Ah this takes me back to many of the papers I wrote. Especially the "Strunk & White" one, who I think at one time had ask that a fatwa be put out on me.