Friday, October 09, 2009

Obama Receives Awards While America Slept

President Barack Obama made history early Friday, winning several awards while most Americans were still asleep, including the Nobel Prize for Peace.

The Norwegian Nobel Committee recognized Obama's work to address a number of issues considered significant to the world, including working toward the eradication of nuclear weapons.

"Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future," the Committee said. The announcement Friday from Oslo, Norway, came as a surprise - Obama had not previously been mentioned as being considered for the honor.

"His diplomacy is founded in the concept that those who are to lead the world must do so on the basis of values and attitudes that are shared by the majority of the world's population," the Committee said.

An Obama administration official said when the president was told he had won, the President said he was humbled to be chosen.

The announcement was not met with universal praise.

De facto Republican National Committee Chair Rush Reed issued a statement just after the Committee's announcement which read, in part, "[T]his is exactly what we've been saying all along - Obama is not one of us, he is more interested in bowing down to 'international interests' and 'matters of global significance, to the whole of humanity' than he is in serving Americans and Traditional American Values(TM).... [W]e fully expect impeachment proceedings to commence in the House early next week."

In addition to the Nobel Prize for Peace, Obama received several other unexpected accolades late Thursday night and early Friday, including:

  1. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced that Obama would receive an Oscar for Best Male Performance in a Leading Role.
  2. Good Housekeeping Research Institute issued a statement that Obama had been awarded their coveted Seal of Approval.
  3. The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety held a press conference to disclose that Obama received the highest crashworthiness rating, Five Stars, in every category tested.
  4. The Heisman Trust announced Obama the winner of a special Heisman Memorial Trophy.

Finally, an overwhelmed Obama is reported to have awarded himself the Presidential Medal of Freedom during breakfast.

Humbly, I remain,
Boudreau Freret


jonathandanz said...

Nicely done.

Anonymous said...

Love it. Especially the Seal of Approval from Good Housekeeping.

Anonymous said...

Sort of lame. Feeble attempt at comedy. The idea's good - the implementation isn't even up to mediocre. And don't bother trying again.

B. Freret said...

"... lame. Feeble.... implementation isn't even up to mediocre.... don't bother trying again."

There, there, Mr. Bush, if you'll just lie down and sleep off your drink, I'm sure this will all seem like a dream when you wake up.

Cheer up, Laura loves you, no matter what!

Dr. Shandy said...

Your execution was brilliant, and you really stuck it in the landing (re: "Obama is reported to have awarded himself the Presidential Medal of Freedom during breakfast"). Perfect balance of truth and (the ever-more-truthful) satire. Your blog really lights up my Interwebs. Thank you, Booger. Thank you.
--Dr. T Shandy