Friday, April 30, 2010

Selected Excerpts from an Early Draft of Chuck Palahniuk's "Fight Club"

A neighbor was kind enough to share notes from an early draft of Mr. Palahniuk's first novel Fight Club with me: I haven't read the published novel, but I have been meaning to watch the video. Maybe one afternoon next week, when I'm substitute teaching at my son's Kindergarten, I'll rent it and watch it with the kids.

For now, though, I'm passing these on - Mr. Palahniuk's style, at least in this draft, seems an eclectic mixture of high society, fashion, nerd culture, and humanitarian thoughtfulness. Amazing!

"Bob had rich fits."

"You have to consider the possibility that Karl does not like you... This is not the worst thing that can happen."

"On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to, oh, say, 0.5 or so."

"The things you own end up owning you. Until Jay Leno wants them back."

"The first rule of Fight Heels is: you don't talk about Fight Heels."

"I'm so close to the end, and all I want is to play chess for the last time. I have Star Trek, and timers, and snacks..."

"3rd RULE: If someone says 'stop' or their cell phone rings, the fight is over. Unless they don't wanna take the call."

"Sticking feathers up your nose does not make you a chicken."

"6th rule of fight club: no shirts, no shoes, no service."

"Tyler was now involved in a class action lawsuit against the Pressman Hotel over the MSG content of their soup."

"7th RULE: Fights will go on as long as they have to. Or until Leno wants back in."

"Her name is Keelia Paulsen. Her name is Keelia Paulsen. Her name is Keelia Paulsen."

"8th RULE: If this is your first night at FIGHT CLUB, you HAVE to fight. Unless you've had a mani/pedi in the last 24."

"Like a donkey, ready to be shot into space. Space donkey! Ready to sacrifice himself for the greater good."

"You said that if anyone ever interferes with Project Golf Swing, even you, we gotta get his balls."